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Last year, you put on the show Shamelessly Seeking Attention, with a PowerPoint presentation. Is there a PowerPoint presentation in 22 Things I’ll Never Do Again?
Indeed there is.
Did you consider not having one this time?
Last year, as part of the publicity for Shamelessly Seeking Attention, I talked about doing a show in the future with just ‘myself, a spotlight and a microphone – if that’. I planned for that future show to be in 2026. But the slides went down so well last year, and in my four comedy four before that. They’ve become my thing.
In 22 Things I’ll Never Do Again, I definitely need slides to tell some of my stories. For others, maybe not, but they still enhance the experience. They also provide evidence of some of my unlikelier adventures!
How do you feel about standing ovations?
I could describe the Oscars as a nasty, phoney, vicious, commercial popularity contest – and I might be right – but I would love to win one.
In a similar way, I was very cynical about standing ovations – until I started getting a few myself.
At this stage, you’re performing 16 times over a two-month period.
Yes. If sales are good enough, I’ll do some more.
Would you rather perform 16 times in just a couple of weeks?
There are pros and cons.
For Shamelessly Seeking Attention, I did 18 performances in two-and-a-half months. After my first preview, I was raring to go again, but had to wait four days. I used that time to take a step back, look at the piece objectively, make some changes and rehearse them. That would have been harder if I’d been on every night.
A longer season also gives time for word of mouth about a show to spread – though that only helps if people like it. It gives my audiences more choices. I was worried that people wouldn’t come in the school holidays, but those performances overall sold the best. It also lets me do more shows on weekends, and gives me a chance to avoid clashes with other events.
Such as?
AFL finals. If you’re wondering why my first two previews are on a Wednesday and a Sunday, it’s because there will be the AFL preliminary finals happening on the Friday and the Saturday.
What about the Thursday?
I find it easier to sell tickets for Wednesday nights. Maybe it’s a hangover from when late night shopping in Perth was only on Thursdays.
Is there a poem in 22 Things I’ll Never Do Again?
Yes. My shows always contain poetry or lyrics that I’ve written. The difference here is that I wrote one of the poems when I was nine years old. I stumbled over it when I was reading one of my old travel diaries.
Is it any good?
No, it’s dreadful! But very funny. I do follow it up with another poem, which – I hope – is both good and funny.
What do you do when a joke falls flat?
It’s okay. It’s going to happen. Usually, I just move on. Audiences are forgiving if they like you and you’re nice to them.
Sometimes, I can follow it up with something that does work. Last Christmas, I did a corporate gig. Overall, I got a lovely reaction from the audience, but no-one laughed at this one particular gag.
I said something like, ‘That gets a better reaction when you say it in Spanish.’ And then people did laugh.
Do you actually speak Spanish?
Yes, pretty well, though I find it hard to follow when people speak fast, or all at once. My second show was about how I learned Spanish in Argentina. I’m writing a book about that. I also touch on it in 22 Things I’ll Never Do Again.
I have privately performed a few of my shows for friends in Spanish. I’m thinking of doing it publicly in the future. Why not? Okay, there might be a few reasons why not. I might have difficulty getting an audience. But – how many Australians who grew up in English-speaking households can perform an hour-long comedy show in Spanish? If I can, maybe I should.
Have you cut material from the show?
Yes. I always do.
For instance, I have an Argentine friend who I talk about a fair bit. I was trying to work out how to introduce him to the audience. I thought – why not say how we first met? It was interesting up to a point. I mean, how many friends have you made under a Buenos Aires motorway? But it wasn’t funny. I knew the show was too long, so I cut out that segment and found a different way to introduce the friend.
How do you learn your lines?
One way is to speak every line – ten times – into the voice recorder on my phone, and play the recording back I’m walking along Perth’s Sunset Strip. One day I walked from North Mole (near Fremantle) to North Cottesloe Beach. The next day, I went from there to Scarborough Beach. The day after that, it was from Scarborough Beach to Mullaloo. Perth in May has lots of good days for beach walking. Not so many in June …
Do you ever want to change a line after you’ve heard it ten times?
Yes. When I hear it that much, I sometimes think – that’s clunky, long, convoluted – or maybe all three. I might turn it into a couple of sentences, cut it down or cut it out altogether. I can do that because I’m also the writer. I feel for actors who can’t.
Do you have a list of items to take to each performance?
Yes. They include band aids, hand sanitiser, eye drops, a spare top and trousers, plus two remote control clickers to operate the PowerPoint.
Two? Why not just one?
Before one of my performances – I think it was when I was doing The Sound of a Social Climbing Nun – I tried out the clicker. All fine. But when I got up on stage in front of an enthusiastic audience? Nothing. It didn’t work. That was fine, because I used the other clicker I had with me.
One little item can stuff up an entire performance. Far less likely if you have two.
Do good things come out of your shows?
Yes, and I never know what. In Shamelessly Seeking Attention, I talked about tennis. It was a game I used to play a lot, but I hadn’t in years. One audience member was an old friend. Afterwards, he asked me to have a hit with him and some of his friends. I did. Several times. It was fun. I need to do it again …
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